Back to work, you slacker

I have to go back to work this afternoon. I remember when that kind of thing used to happen all the time. May, it was. It was generally mild, but sometimes I had to wear a jumper. Now it's starting again.

Which means I don't have time to write a proper thing for you. Here's another one from 2006 - why the World Cup is better than Christmas. Amazing that something so clearly the case should need to be explained.


Why the World Cup is better than Christmas

Oh, let me count the ways.

No-one suddenly thinks they can demand things of you because the World Cup is on. No one thinks you have to buy them things, or attend their tedious performances, or in fact leave your house at any time. There are no World Cup cards, even though there is actually far more to celebrate.

The World Cup is a celebration of summer, whereas Christmas is a commiseration for winter.

No one says we have lost the true meaning of the World Cup. No one pretends we only have the World Cup for the sake of the children. Children are not annoying for months before the World Cup.

The actual World Cup itself goes on for longer than the buildup. You are never sick of the whole subject of the World Cup weeks before it actually happens.

The World Cup has no cranberry sauce in it.

Shops do not close for the World Cup.

You aren't expected to begin every conversation with "Happy World Cup!" simply because it happens to be the World Cup.

The World Cup is not a huge, tedious, life-dominating pain in the arse.

Some people, believe it or not, claim that it is, but those are usually the same people that like Christmas, precisely because it gives them an excuse to demand things of you. Festivals which revolve around sybaritic pleasure and guilt-free self-indulgence are incomprehensible to them, which is odd, because that’s precisely what festivals were originally for.

 . . . .  .

I'm older and more resigned now, and I've come to terms to Christmas. I will never ever accept the idea that there should be four of them to every World Cup though.